rest

as i lay down to rest
i don't want to feel
i dont want to be
so tired of everything
so tired of me
deafening silence
previous happiness
painful absence
regret
no interest
no passion
no love
obscure distance
i sit alone
not on the phone
not online
i know im not fine
i kill my thoughts
im more crazy than not
cant feel myself
i know i need help
must be going insane
its all in my brain
sadness
is what i get
it's all there is
as i lay down to rest